Are You Sensory Masking? The Hidden Energy Thief Keeping You Overwhelmed

Next in my series on unmasking, I’d like to talk about sensory masking in particular. I think sensory masking doesn’t get enough attention when we discuss masking. But it’s incredibly important because it is so draining and so prevalent. Sensory masking needs to be better understood when we’re trying to unmask, so let’s get into it.

First, what is masking? It’s hiding our autistic traits in order to fit in with neurotypical society. We hear mainly about social masking when people talk about masking. Many of the examples we hear of masking are things like forcing ourselves to make eye contact, monitoring our facial expressions and tone of voice, not talking about our special interests, copying others, and using scripts in conversations. These are all forms of masking rooted in putting up a neurotypical social appearance.

Sensory masking, however, is hiding our autistic traits that relate to our unique sensory systems. When it comes to sensory masking, it’s brushed off as simply suppressing our stims in public. And stims are usually thought of as stereotypically autistic actions such as hand-flapping, rocking, and echolalia. But sensory masking is a huge energy thief that autistic adults do all the time. Here are some other ways we mask our sensory needs around other people: 

• Agreeing to activities that are very sensory draining

• Never revealing our sensory needs

• Not speaking up when someone is doing something that is triggering to our senses

• Not leaving when our senses are overwhelmed

• Hiding our fidget tools, or not bringing them out in public

• Not using sensory protective tools such as ear defenders or ear plugs when in a triggering environment

• Not asking for accommodations for our sensory needs

• Not adjusting the temperature when it feels too hot or too cold

• Not bringing sensory calming tools and activities with us

• Forcing ourselves to tolerate uncomfortable sensations

• Staying still when we crave movement

• Not using sensory calming tools such as weighted lap pads or clothing

• Wearing uncomfortable clothing 

• Not wearing the same thing every day when we want to

• Not getting the sensory-friendly haircut we’d prefer because of social or gender norm pressures

• Letting people hug us or touch us when we don’t like it

• Eating food that gives us an unpleasant sensory experience

• Not taking sensory or movement breaks when we need them

• Pretending to feel the same as others around us

You may have read the above list and felt like these are all things you have to do. The thought of unmasking by not doing these things in public might seem horrifying. I think sensory masking is some of the hardest masking to undo, because it’s looked down on so strongly by neurotypical society. Meeting our sensory needs is seen as being overly sensitive, weak, or whiny and the resulting actions we take can be seen as the most obvious signs of autism. These are ableist attitudes. In reality, meeting our sensory needs takes a lot of confidence, self-love, and self-awareness. It’s something to be very proud of and is the height of self-compassion. (For support with changing your negative self-talk about showing your autistic needs to the world, check out my free resource, Essential Scripts for Self-Talk While Unmasking.)

In the end, sensory unmasking is critical in reclaiming our energy and calm as autistic adults. Undoing our sensory masking helps us avoid burnout, overwhelm, and meltdowns. And it’s the primary goal of my Sensory Empowerment Program! Once we unmask our sensory needs and work to meet those needs instead, it frees up energy for other forms of self-care and unmasking. (For a deeper dive into how meeting your sensory needs prevents burnout, read this blog post.) Let’s bring this specific type of masking into the light so that we can grow everyone’s understanding of it and have fewer burnt-out autistic adults!

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